The Lost Teen 17

We're having our mok SAT's this week and we av just ad da maths which i thoght would be harder than it was but still i have been trying really hard i revised on da pc i luked thru my book. Cuz its also our options evening tomorrow i've been looking through the booklet decided what i wanna take but however hard i try no one cares or appriciates how hard it is i mean i'm under so much stress and i mean i always get really stressed about tests i just can't help it. It's my birthday next week,and guess what no one cares well otha than han anyway. Mum and dad aren't gonna be back till latei havn't even sorted out what phone i want. My mum keeps being really bitchy and just gets really angry especially the other day when uncle and cuz were over she just says i'm really horible but i'm not i just try and stay out of their way, it's not like uncle makes an effort but that doesn't mean i shouldn't. I havn't decided what i wanna do for my b'day i think i'll just go shoppin wiv han i don't really feel like celebratin, i mean whats to celebrate the fact that i was born exactly 14 years ago ooooooooooo yeh lets all get excited. And with that i will end todays entry with todays inspirational message :The future is not a gift - it is an achievement.
Harry Lauder

Since being ill this week i've had a lot of time to think aonna start standing on my own two feet, i'm gonna redo my bedroom really unique. Being a teenager is about learning who you really are and thats what i'm doing i'm really happy at the moment and i've got my future to look forward to but i'm not gonna rush through everything i'm gonna enjoy it, i'm gonna enjoy life no matter what anyone else says.

Being an only child i suppose i get quite lonely sometimes even though i denie it to everyone who asks me when i tell them i don't have any brother's or sisters. I always wonder how things would be different and sometimes i wonder why their not i mean my mum has two other brothers and a sister and my dad has a brother so why wouldn't my parents have wanted more kids. I often think about how if i have a kid that i wud av 2 av at least 2 cuz they wudn't have any aunties or uncles on my side or cusins and i'm neva gonna be an aunty or have neices or nefews. It's pretty selfish but what can i say i'm an only cild ironic isn't it. People say that only children get spoilt by their parents and get all the attention, not me my mum is never hear my dad pays more attention 2 da dog dan me and i spent my whole life growing up with sum1 i wasn't even related 2. I'm never going to be able to understand the concept of sharing my parents and having a sibling but its just something i've learnt and also still learning how 2 live with unless my mum gets pregnant real soon but i don't know how i'd feel if that happened. i don't know whether it's just me but sometimes i get this feeling sort of from my stomach where i just feel so alone and uncomfortable and like i don't belong their, thats probably a very big thing thats scares me and i have absolutely no control over it. So back 2 my point of being an only child, whenevr people talk about their brothers and sisters i just want to tell them to shutup cuz i think their rubbing my nose in it but now i'm starting 2 acept my self and what i've got and not be upset about what other people have and i don't i mean if everyone woz the same the world wud be boring right.i may well be an only child and i may well get lonely sumtimes but u will neva hear me admit that again on the briteside i get second pik of da bedrooms afta my parents wen we buy new house rite. So my msg 4 evry1 wiv a sibling out their don't take it 4 granted luv ur siblings sum of us don't hav them. And my message for only kids out their is let people think we're spoilt brats and let people think we're selfish because well most of the time we are but just remember ur not lonely in feeling lonely sumtimes, and don't b so unhappy wiv hu u r neva waste ur time on sumfing dat is out of ur control, wots dun is dun and wots gonna change will happen and it's up 2 u how u go about the future, but don't waste it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sometimes in life you have choices made for you sometimes you make the choices yourself and sometimes there are no choices at all. I believe that not everything happens for a reason although that reason may not be apparent straight away there will be one however significant or not as the case may be. So when you don’t have a choice and it may seem like a really bad option and the really wrong thing to do remember there is a reason for it happening. Today I don’t feel like the lost teen I normally am but I assure it will change tomorrow or maybe not, life is full of surprises, or not?